Junho was almost always confused, he wondered why the weirdest situations came to him who was a normal and quite unproblematic student.
It happened to him that maybe it was because of his more than crazy friend group that his life was abnormal.
"They'll spot us!!" exclaimed Wooseok, squatting behind a bush not to be seen by Yohan and Minju.
"Where do you think they are going...?" wondered Yujin by his side under the more than unphased gaze of Junho.
"Do you think he proposed or something like that? The restaurant is fancy…" said Yunseong, next to Wooseok.
Junho rolled his eyes after seeing the couple leave the restaurant.
He should have known that discreetly going to check on their date was a bad idea and should have never let Yujin know about it in the first place.
Meeting Wooseok and Yunseong had been a simple but terrible coincidence that had only worsened the situation.
"What are you even doing here guys?" sighed Junho
"We were going to a karaoke..." whispered Yunseong.
"Let's follow them!!!"said Yujin,putting on her hood
"Why??" asked a confused Junho
"I have to protect Minju from him!!"
".And we have to protect Yohan from her." replied Yunseong.
"....And I think that I have to protect them from all of you." said Junho, shaking his head. "You are crazy."
Yujin pinched her friend.
"No, I didn't come out to stalk them, I am going home." sighed Junho.
"Wait wait- Don't go…" pleaded Yujin, grabbing his arm.
"Why? You don't need me to follow them. Go ahead if you want." angrily replied Junho,pushing her hand away.
Junho didn't know why he was that angry and wondered what led him to feel this way.
Was it the absurdity of the situation? Them acting like children? Or because Yujin still was not back to her usual self? Or because she liked Minju so much that she was forgetting him, her best friend?
He was there but felt invisible.
He hated this feeling.
Junho was loved by many including his family but never felt like he was anyone's priority.
Mina had always been focused on either Minhyun or Myungsoo and Minju on Yohan.
He truly only had Yujin,a Yujin that would probably leave him as soon as they graduated.
Yujin frowned, worried by her friend's behavior.
"What's wrong is that we were supposed to hang out to change your mind, to forget about them." sadly said Junho. "Not to do...this."
"...Sorry." apologized Yujin. "I just...It's not that easy to forget I guess."
Junho hated himself for getting angry at her,he hated how jealous he was over every little things.
She had done nothing wrong per say, she was just being her usual weird but lovely self except that her attention wasn't directed at him for once.
"Hey don't fight,we can have fun on our own right?" smiled Wooseok,petting his head. "Being single is as much fun than being a couple!"
"We still can go to the karaoke all together." said Yunseong,brushing his hand against Wooseok's."We'll pay for you guys."
"Let's go there ok?" slightly smiled Yujin, looking at Junho. "Please?"
Junho hesitated but finally nodded.
If it made her happy he had to accept, he hated seeing her sad.
Wooseok and Yunseong started walking, soon followed by the two teenagers.
Yujin grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers so that he would not leave.
"Sorry Junho. I know that I am not myself these days…"
"...It's ok. I understand."
"Are you angry?"
"...I am jealous." admitted the boy in a whisper, he hated lying to her.
Yujin slowed down and stared at his shamefully red face.
"Aren't you coming?" asked Wooseok on the karaoke's steps.
"...Go ahead first, we'll join you soon." said Yujin, unable to take off her eyes from her friend's scarlet face as the older boys entered the building.
Junho regretted telling her a truth that he barely understood himself.
"...Because you know nothing about Minju and are pushing me aside for her."
"That was not my intention…And I am not."
"I was here first, I was the one there for you every time you cried but it didn't seem to matter and I…" sighed Junho. " And I thought that you would abandon me to spend more time with her."
"...Look at me." asked Yujin.
Junho raised his eyes to meet hers.
He had always liked how cheerful hers were, they were beautiful and carried stars in them.
She had been his light when nobody cared about him, she was the reason why he had blossomed.
"I'm never abandoning you Junho." smiled Yujin." I may fall in love again one day but I am always the happiest with you. You're my best friend."
Junho should have been happy, he should have rejoiced after hearing her words but only felt pain,a sharp one deep in his heart.
A role where he would see her fall in love and get her heart broken all over again by other people.
A role he suddenly wasn't so sure he would be able to handle.
He wanted more, he wanted to be his love.
He wanted her to watch him with the same sparkles in her eyes as when she stared at his cousin,he wanted her heart to protect it and never see her cry again.
Love was supposed to be wonderful, not this awful feeling, he was aching too much.
He couldn't risk it.
What if she rejected him? What if they dated and ended up just like his sister and Minhyun that had been her best friends too at one point?
"...Thank you." smiled Junho as his stomach turned upside down.
"Let's go~!"said Yujin before dragging him into the karaoke.
He would just have to kill his feelings.
He would have to stop the fire in his heart and if he couldn't, he would just have to lock them deep inside of himself until the ends of times.
She could never know the truth behind his gazes, she had to remain oblivious to be happy, to maintain their peace.
Junho could at least do this for her even if it destroyed him.
First love never lasted anyway right?
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